An ordinary Zimbabwean's troubles

I would generally like to think of myself as a nice person when it comes to interacting with individuals on a day to day basis but this Zimbabwe in which we live has brought a whole new meaning to the word nice particularly when you know you want to be given cash back by the till attendant in a supermarket. You don't KNOW nice till then.....

It has become a torturous affair which begins with my brother whispering to me "You're up Thuli,"

if we so find the till manned by a member of the opposite sex. You have to start slow....cautiously guiding your prey to exactly where you want them to go. You begin by asking how their day was and lamenting the long hours of work, of which you have to quickly point out that their services are much appreciated as you have CLEARLY finished work and almost 8pm and they haven't. This, in itself is a delicate affair as you might piss them off and never get the much coveted cash back. It is like the gains of the liberation struggle, unendingly referenced without going into too much detail.

Alas you find yourself regaling them with little tit bits and asking questions about swiping which you already know the answer to as your purchased goods get towards the end of being charged. Then before you know it, its is the moment of truth, the last fight scene in a movie, Thanos and the Avengers, the night king at the battle of Westeros, John Wick and whoever they decided to cast as the villain in the fourth installment.

You look at them and flash THE most amazing smile you have (usually reserved for traffic police after you've gone through a late amber robot.....but that's an experience for another day) and you politely ask "Mungaitawo cashback?"

And that, ladies and gentlemen is the moment that determines your fate, whether you shall live up to scrutiny and whether your people skills really ARE as good as you say they are. Suffice to say I now know how super heroes feel, and booooy is wonder woman a SHERO. Today? I made it, I am not sure if I will make it again tomorrow, but I shall say this, be nice to EVERYONE because you just might wake up Chicken Inn yaakupa cashback and you will rue the day you were mean to the till attendant there.